My two mommies

It is proven with thorough research that lesbian families are as healthier, if not more, than traditional families. Their children do as well as children from heterosexual families and there is no affect to their social adjustment, sexual orientation or academic success.

They are, sadly surprising to many, as mentally healthy a children from heterosexual parenting families. A study, published in Child Development (Vol 75) compared a group of 44 same-sex family teenagers with 44 heterosexual family teenagers. The report states that:

“There were very few group differences between the kids who had been brought up by same- or opposite-sex parents”.

In actual fact, the children from same sex families reported closer relations with their schools and classmates.

This also disproved the myth that lesbian raised children struggled with romantic relationships due to a missing father figure. There was in actual fact no difference between the two groups in grade point averages or symptoms of depression or self-esteem.

It is in actual fact good parenting and not the parent’s sexual orientation that creates productive, mentally healthy children. It was actually proven that the children from same-sex families thrived in a world where their family and parents are not always accepted.

A study by Nanette Gartrell, MD, regrettably found that by the age of ten half of children with lesbian mothers have been exposed to homophobic teasing from their peers. However, as a group children from lesbian families are as well-adjusted as children from heterosexual families (as per the date from Gartrell's National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study).

Gartrell has commented that the resilience of the children may in part be due to their mothers’ efforts to prepare them for homophobia and protect them.

"In order to create a homophobia-free space for these children, the moms have had to educate their pediatricians, their child-care workers," says Gartrell. "They are active in the school system and make sure there are training modules in the schools that support diversity including LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered] families. All this is on top of the usual 24-7 commitment to parenting."

Gartrell has also said that the children from same-sex families are more than just precious additions to their families.

"The kids I've interviewed are enormously thoughtful–they are not only sensitive to discrimination to their groups but other groups as well," she says. "This is something LGBT families have to offer the world."

More than 10% of same-sex couples are parenting a child. Most report that biggest problem they have is discrimination, either against them or their children

It is important to create a sound foundation in your family life of support and instruction. Teach your child what to expect from people, to not be hurt by thoughless comments and to openly discuss their concerns and heartaches with their mothers.

Involve their teachers and advise them that the family is a same sex family. This is important in cases of emergency where the teachers need to be aware that either of two mothers might have to pick up the child.

It is important for your child to be able to approach you when they are harassed and that they feel safe discussing their worries and concerns with you.

It is equally important for your child to be aware that the homophobic behaviour is unacceptable ad will be dealt with, but that they are in no way to blame and did not deserve the bullying. Try to ensure that their school is a safe place for them.

Contact the school and your child’s teacher. Explain to the necessary authority at the school what happened and why you think it is due to bias. Explain to the required person that you require their assistance in ensuring your child’s emotional and physical safety and draw up a plan of action together.

Do not just stop with the teacher of the abuse or bullying does not stop. Do not be scared climbing up the ladder of responsibility and approach the principal, necessary official or even government department if necessary.

Always keep in mind that educators are not necessarily opposed to your family lifestyle and must care about children to have become educators. Explain yourself logically and keep track of all the instances of harassment and all previous meetings with teachers or other relevant individuals.

Do not hesitate to involve the police if the harassment has escalated to crime, where your child or their belongings have been injured or threatened with physical harm.

All lesbian parents must know how difficult it is to find quality daycare for their child. You have the exact same obstacles as heterosexual families, but have the additional problems of finding a childcare environment where your chid will be allowed to be proud of their family unit.

This is, sadly, a society where homophobia is rampant and this might be a bigger task than it sounds. As recently as May 2006 there was complete outrange at an Australian daycare’s choice to include books depicting same-sex families.

It is important to find a daycare centre where your child is not only allowed despite their same-sex parents, but where they will be free to enjoy themselves and will under no circumstances be singled out due to their family difference.

So where do you find a gay-friendly childcare? It is important to look in the right places. Approach your local GLBT organisations, centres and publications. Ask other same-sex parents for advice and suggestions.

It might even be an option to arrange with other same-sex families to “share a nanny”.

Once you have found a daycare that you think might be right for your family it is still important to do some research.

Interview a possible daycare and fid out how they will make their environment “gay-positive” for your child.

What will the daycare do to ensure that they do not only accept your child, but that the other children and families understand and accept your child.

Find out what their policy is about teasing and bullying and how they will ensure your child’s emotional and physical safety in (and out) of the classroom.

Homophobia is a very real concern for many lesbians who want to become or are parents. Many women feel that they would be putting their children in unfair situations and unfortunately homophobia and discrimination does exist. It is not a matter of if your child will have to deal with it but how a child will deal with it.

Homophobic organisations love to proclaim that lesbians are not fit to be parents. As discussed this is clearly a fallacy. You are however probably not worried about your parenting skills but the effect of society over your child.

Many studies have however found that children from Lesbian families experienced homophobic bullying to be no worse than “normal” children experience bullying.

It is a fact that nearly all children will experience some form of bullying in their lifetime and the fact that the bullying is caused by a homophobic component might not make a stronger impression on a child than “normal” bullying. It is however still extremely important for your child to understand and know how to deal with bullying.

You must raise your child to stand up to homophobia. Children respond best to bullying when they have a strong secure foundation to react on.

Be honest with your child at all times about your lifestyle. If you are not ashamed of who you are, your child will have no reason or cause to be ashamed. Honesty and open communication is always the best option with children. Even young children require the honesty from their parents to understand why their families are slightly different and why other kids might not always be nice about it. Never ever send your child the message, no matter how unconscious it might be, that there is any cause for them to be ashamed of their family in any way.

Don’t wait for your child to experience homophobic bullying before education them in how to handle it.

Teach your child the meaning of “gay” and “lesbian”. Warn them about the “slang” use of phrases such as “That’s so gay” and explain to them that being gay is not a bad thing. Encourage them to think of their family life style in a positive, self assured manner.

Use the opportunity of discussing LGBT family issues with your child to create a greater understanding of other marginalised families, such as adopted children or inter-racial families.

Again, the most important thing you can do for your child is to listen with an open heart. Try to understand what your child is going through in a non-judgemental manner.

Children act by learning through observation and imitation. Your child will act as he has seen his mothers act and will experience the world in much the way he has seen them experience it. He will also combat homophobia in the way he has seen his parents approach the subject of homosexuality. It is important for you to combat homophobia from a very young age in your child’s life in order for them to “learn” from experience how it is done.

Ultimately, can it ever be a good thing for a child to grow up in a lesbian family? Yes! Most children from same-sex families have only good things to say about their upbringings and are often more acceptant of diversity among their peers. They also tend to be able to recognise good friends early on. So while you may think your child is having a very hard time they might in actual fact just be climbing a steep learning curve to becoming well adjusted, intuitive and brave young adults.

Healing Homosexuality?

My wife brought a website to my attention a while ago of a church called Exodus International. An international church who apparently specialise in healing homosexuals, or as they put it "For 30 years, Exodus has served men and women who are affected by homosexuality".

Now call me ignorant, but I did not genuinely consider that places or people like this existed. But apparently they do and it is a terrifying thought.

Funnily, on their board of directors are no less than two "ex-gays" and mental health practitioner! Really, someone qualified to guide people's mental health? They describe themselves as a non-judgmental church who lead sufferers out of the homosexual lifestyle into God-approved hetero-ness. They oppose the Gay-Gene Myth, gay marriage and gay parenting and are not shy to publish their "real life stories" of success and to obtain funding, donations and apparently prayers while they are at it.

At first we laughed. This is funny, right? They are ridiculous, right? Until we realised the size of them and the obvious influence they seem to have. It is funny until you realise how many people are living lies, with husbands, wives and children because they are trying so desperately hard to believe that the devil made them gay and that God could turn them straight.

It is funny until we realise how many people out there must be living estranged from their families, parents or siblings because God-fearing people like these have convinced them that is a choice to be gay, punishable by hell and fixable. Worst of all, that it is heal-able or fixable, like it is a disease.

I am proud to be gay, I am proud of my wife and I am proud of my family who have embraced us without question. God save us from all the people out there who believe they are doing God's work.

It just again brings home to me that we should not allow ourselves to be cast out, to be pushed around, to be judged and treated like we have a disease. We must simply not allow places and people like this to get a hold, because they might not realise the damage they are doing to people, but damage is definitely being done.

The A-Spot

The A-spot is also know as the Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone, or the Epicentre. It is a patch of sensitive tissue at the inner end of the vaginal tube between the cervix and the bladder.

Direct stimulation of this spot can produce violent orgasms and unlike the clitoris is not supposed to have post orgasmic oversensitivity.

Medically speaking, it is located just above the cervix at the innermost point of the vagina.

You can now even buy specific AFE vibrators, which are long, thin and upward curved at its end to stimulate this area.

When you and your partner decide to explore this area it is important to have two things: short finger nails (which I am sure every non-single lesbian has) and a lot of lubrication.

Slide a finger into your woman’s vagina along the upper vaginal wall (your palm towards her stomach) until your finger reaches a small protrusion. It will be very sensitive and feels like the end of the vagina. If you curl your finger upwards (in a come-hither motion) you can mover of the protrusion. Your finger at this time should be fully extended inside her and the tip in a very small space.

Now, apply pressure upwards, towards the ceiling and if you are in the right spot, your woman will have a beautiful orgasm. Continue to apply pressure and vibrate your finger. Often an A-spot orgasm can provoke female ejaculation.

So explore, enjoy and as always, listen to what your partner wants and more importantly does not want.

The U-spot

The U-Spot

The U-spot is a small patch of sensitive erectile tissue located just above and on either side of the urethral opening (where you urinate from). If this region is gently caressed with either the finger or the tongue an unexpectedly powerful erotic response is created.

As explained in a previous post (below) powerful orgasms can cause female ejaculation from the urethral opening.

Fingers play a critical part into the stimulation of the U-spot, as does the tongue. Message your fingers from the clitoris to the opening of the vagina (remember to be gentle at all times). Message the U-spot carefully. Lubricated fingers work the best.

You can run your tongue gently over her clitoris, along the inside of her lips and in circular motion over her U-spot.

Remember that the pressure must not be too sharp or hard. This is also an area that must not be over stimulated and all care must be taken to remain hygienic in order to avoid urinary tract infection.

The orgasm begins with a sensation of urinary urgency which is ultimately replaced by orgasmic release. So explore, have fun and at all times be aware of your partner’s comfort and enjoyment.

Lesbian Hair

There are many stereotypes with regards to typical lesbian hair. In actual fact, there is no such thing as "typical" lesbian hair, but if we have to be honest some hair does trigger your gaydar stronger than others.

Here are the most lesbian of all lesbian hair:

The super short cut


The Buzz Cut

(We realise that Natalie Portman is not a lesbian, but the hair is a beautiful example)

The Mohawk



The Faux Hawk



The Shane



The Ellen


The New Mullet

Corsets

A corset is worn to mould and shape the body, or specifically the torso.

The corset is and was most commonly used to slim the body and create a “fashionable” silhouette. It emphasises the figure by reducing the waist, sometimes by extreme proportions, and exaggerating the shape of the breasts and hips.

Typically corsets are made of flexiable material (such as cloth or leather), stiffened with boning channelled in the cloth or leather. Sometimes steel or whalebone are favoured.

Most commonly corsets are held together by lacing in the back or side. Tightening or loosing the lacing causes changes in the firmness or tightness of the corset and creates the required size reduction.

In Victorian times a well-off lady would have a made to lace up her corset. By tightlacing the waist can be reduced to unnatural sizes.

Tightlacers normally aim for waits between 40 to 43 centimeters (about 16 to 17 inches). However, in 1998 Ethel Granger was recorded in the Guiness Book of World Records as having the smallest waist at 32.5 centimeters (about 13 inches). Other women with extreme waist sizes were Cathie Jung and Polair.

Corsets were first worn during the 16^th century and remained a stronghold of fashion until the French Revolution, but to the current day they are worn by a few disciplined but loyal followers. Sometimes with amazing (and slightly awe inspiring) consequences.

Breast Binding

Breast biding is the act of reducing visible breast size in women. The binding of breasts also create a male-appearance.

Materials used in binding methods are cloth strips, elastic or non-elastic bandage, purpose-built undergarments or simply layering of shirts. (to the left is an example of a specialised breast binding top)

It is said that Joan of Arc used breast binding to pass as male in a male-dominated society and in order to be accepted in society.

Even Japanese kimonos can be considered an elaborate style of binding. Catholic nuns, up until the 1930’s, were required by the church to wear linen breast binding under their robes and vestments. The church claimed that this reduced the distraction the breast might be causing in the cloister.

Binding can however cause some pain and discomfort. Some methods of binding can cause discomfort, sweatiness or pain. It can also be restrictive to movement or even breathing if bound too tightly. It is important to note that if it hurts, cuts your skin or even hinders your breathing it is too tight and must be loosened.

Material that doesn’t breath or traps sweat against the skin can cause sores or rashes on the skin. Corn starch applied to the skin before binding can help with this. A method that is also successful is to wear a thin cotton undershirt (that absorbs the sweat) under the binding material. Always allow your skin time to breath in between binding.

Do not use tape to bind, especially directly on your skin, as this can cut your skin, cause rashes or even pull layers of skin off when removed.

Some binders might even roll up in certain areas, particularly around the waist. Sewing an extra length of fabric around the bottom of the binder will make it possible for the binder to be tucked into your pants.

Should you experience areas of chaffing or bulging around the armpit you might want to trim or alter the area.

Some women prefer not to wear any type of binding device, especially if they have very small breasts. You might also just need a day off to allow your breasts to breath.

Wearing tight fitting sleeveless undershirts or sports bras as a bottom layer will keep the breasts from moving around. Then a loose t-shirt (or sometimes even two) are worn over that.

Each following layer is looser than the one underneath and button down shirts can be used to disguise feminine body features, such as hips and narrow shoulders.

Enlarged clitoris

Enlarged clitorises are also known as or related to hypertrophy of clitoris, clitoral enlargement, large clitoris, clitoromegaly, hypertrophy of clitoris (disorder), clitorimegaly

The size of a woman’s clitoris may be related to the amount of testosterone a women is exposed to both in the womb and during puberty. Some women have large clitorises and some women small ones. There may also be a link between testosterone levels in the female embryo and the development of the G-spot.

Clitoromegaly is the abnormal enlargement of the clitoris (this is not the normal enlargement of the clitoris during sexual arousal).

A “normal” clitoris is defined as being about 3 to 4 millimeters crosswise and about 4 to 5 millimeters in length. Please note that what is considered “normal” is up to interpretation and we are only talking about the visible part of the clitiros.

In its most pronounced cases, clitoromegaly is a symptom of intersexuality, where the large clitoris resembles a penis.

Clitoromegaly is an otherwise rare condition and can either be present from birth or can happen later in life.

If present from birth, congenital adrenal hyperplasia can be the cause, which is a condition in which the adrenal gland of a femal fetus produces additional androgens which cause the newborn baby to display ambiguous genitalia which are neither clearly male or female.

If the clitoromegaly is acquired later in life it can be caused by a hormonal imbalance.

Clitoris enlargement can also be a form of body modification, because of its potential to increase pleasure and the enhancement of the appearance of the genitals. Clitoral enlargement can be accomplished through a variety of means. The most common being the use of a clitoral pump, testosterone injections into the shaft of the clitoris or using testosterone creams on the clitoris.

Many interested participants claim size increases from pumping while others say testosterone is the only way to obtain significant results. Both methods however involve risks. If a clitoris pump is used incorrectly it can cause damage to the erectile tissue and blood vessels. The use of steroids however can drastically change body chemistry.

The motivation for wanting an enlarged clitoris can vary. Women with very small clitoris may not get the necessary intercourse, which can cause them to want enlargement for increased pleasure. Women with normal sized clitoris may want an increased size to be more pleasurable or to look more attractive..

The idea that an enlarged clitoris from steroids creates more pleasure is not always true. Many women who have enlarged clitoris from steroid abuse reported that clitoral stimulation becomes extremely painful, while others have reported a numb, dead feeling.

Very few reported an actual heightened sexual pleasure.

Sometimes the clitoris grows only a little bit, but sometimes it may grow to unnatural proportions.

The clitoris may also take on the shape of the head of a penis, because the clitoris and the penis both have the same type of erectile tissue and enlarged clitorises do tend to resemble the heads of penises.

Jhb Gay Pride

Saturday, 6 October 2007 was Johannesburg Pride. What an event, with hundreds of like-orientated people. Just sorry it started pouring right after the parade ended and we got home completely soaked. Sometimes the weather has no sympathy.

The parade was loud, colourful and fun. It will definitely see us next year again.

We have a date...

We finally set a date for our upcoming nuptials. 9 October 2007. I better remember this, because I'll be in huge trouble if I forget our 1st wedding anniversary.

It was relatively easy in the end to get a date and here is how you do it:-

1. Take your id documents and go to Home Affairs with your partner.
2. Set up a date with the marriage officer (we went to Edenvale and had a date and time set within half an hour).
3. Get an application for a marriage license from the enquiries counter.
4. Attend at Home Affairs on your chosen day with your partner, two witnesses, two passport photos and your identity documents.

Easy peasy. We are taking our best friend and a friend we met online as witnesses. (No family will be attending, because it sadly seems that family are less than happy to celebrate our little "marriage")

We are however very excited and cannot wait to be pronounced wife and wife

Cunnilingus – conquering your woman lick by lick

What is cunnilingus? Well simply said, it is oral stimulation of the clitoris and vulva with the tongue and/or lips.

In recent surveys it has been reported that between seventy five perecent to ninety six percent of women feel that oral sex is their favourite methd of being pleasures. And no wonder, since the clitoris contains 8 000 nerve endings!

Many women say that they climax more easily and better from oral sex than penetration.

Communication during any sex is important, but doubly so during oral sex. Ask your partner what she likes (and more importantly what she doesn’t like). Make sure that both of you are in a comfortable position. You don’t want to have to change position later on and then loose the rhythm. Nothing breaks a near orgasm as quickly and effectively as breaking the rhythm….

In the beginning, start with light pressure and a lot of saliva (to help with lubrication). Your girl’s clitoris is extremely sensitive and does not create lubrication of its won. Start slowly and take your time to appreciate her body. Don’t start too aggressively, you don’t want to over stimulate her from the start.

Lick the inner and outer labia (lips). Try different strokes and see what your woman prefers. Then pay some attention to the clitoral hood, moving side to side or in different combinations. You can also move from the clitoris to the vaginal opening.

Find the one movement that drives her wild and keep going. It doesn’t matter if you get tired, if your tongue wants to fall off, if you can’t breath. Keep going consistently and rhythmically with the movement that has her moaning for you.

Your girl should guide you with her hands or words, but do not feel shy to ask. You do not need to have a clinical conversation, but you do not to feel free to say yes or no.

Every women is also unique in when she needs you to stop what you are doing. Some like stimulation right up to orgasm and some want you to continue during and even after orgasm. But it depends on person to person.

Often women enjoy penetration at the same time. You can use your finger, a vibrator or a dildo. You can also stimulate her nipples during oral sex.

Suck her labia and clitoris and do not hesitate to penetrate her with your tongue. You will be having her crawling up the walls.

Some good positions are the classic women on her back, to have her sit on your face or the well know 69. Laying sideways using her thigh as a pillow is a great position for pregnant women (because the fact that you and your partner are having a family does not mean you should not help her relax a bit).

From being allows great access and great sensation. I myself am not particular to this though, because I do not enjoy too much pressure on my anterior wall.

Be Safe

Please do not make the mistake of thinking that lesbians cannot pick up sexually transmitted diseases. This is an absolute myth.

And while oral sex may be a safer method of having sex, there are still risks attached.

Menstruating women are still bleeding and you have cuts or sores on your lips or in your mouth you are susceptible to HIV or AIDS. Herpes as well as genital wars can transmitted during oral sex.

It is very important to communicate with your partner to assess the risks involved. Discuss your medical history and be sure to warn your partner should there be anything that she should be worrying about.

Should this only be for casual sex you can use a latex barrier, such as a dam for safer sex. If you use a lot of lubrication underneath the dam you will have greater success.

Do not be afraid to experiment. Try stimulating the various pressure points along the top of the pubic mound or in the crease where the thigh meets the body. Tease her inner thighs and use heat or cold to increase the excitement of the moment. You can use a hot or cold drink to change the temperature of your mouth. You could also be very naughty and try some ice. Please be careful no to leave the ice in one position too long and do not leave it inside the vagina, as it might cause ice burns where she definitely does not want to be hurt. And this should go without saying, but a girl can never be too careful: under no circumstances bite your women anywhere while doing oral sex. It is very tender skin and will not handle abuse kindly.

Can you have oral sex during menstruation?

Absolutely! But it obviously depends on personal choice. If neither you nor your partner have a problem with menstrual blood, there is no reason why you should not have a brilliant sex life during either your menstrual cycles. A tampon or a diaphragm can also help to stem the flow of blood. Please note that any contact with blood can transmit HIV/AIDS and it is important to know that you and your partner are both safe.

We are getting married!

I am making this beautiful woman mine legally. Yesterday we decided to go find matching engagement rings and today we magically found a marriage officer able to register our marriage.

While civil marriages are completely legal in South Africa we have found it to be an impossible mission finding a registered (or licenced) marriage officer willing and able to do civil marriages. But finally it seems that the hard work has paid off.



We will let you guys know as soon as it is legal :-D I will also be posting some advice on the how to of registering a civil marriage, since we found i so bloody hard to get anyone to help us...

Playground

We recently went to the an all Lesbian Party set up by Playground. What a wonderfully stylish event and even our best friend, who happened to be an all gay man, and his roommate had a ball. The drinks were however dead expensive, but otherwise it was heavenly to be surrounded by only women, and only lesbian women at that.

We will definitely be going again.

Lesbian rules of conduct

So while my wonderful girlfriend was surfing around for blog ideas (I have a momentary pms block), she came upon the official site of Lesbian Rules of Conduct. It is absolutely hilarious and worth noting, so please go check it out:

http://www.thecode.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/1.html

Vaginal infections... the scratch behind the itch

VAGINITIS

Vaginitis are various conditions that infect or inflame the vagina. Vulvovaginitis are infections in both the vulva and vagina. Infections can be caused by bacteria, viruses, yeast or allergies caused by chemicals found in clothes, creams or sprays. Vaginitis can also be a result of sexual intercourse.

SYMPTOMS OF VAGINITIS

Some women experience no symptoms and other women a wide variety of them. Common symptoms of vaginitis are however the following:

* abnormal vaginal discharge with a foul or unpleasant smell

* burning sensation during urination

* Itching of the vagina

* pain or discomfort during intercourse

TYPES OF INFECTIONS

The 6 most common types of vaginal infections are:

• Candida or "yeast" infections
• Bacterial vaginosis
• Trichomoniasis vaginitis
• Chlamydia vaginitis
• Viral vaginitis
• Non-infectious vaginitis

VAGINAL DISCHARGE

Vaginal discharge is normal and is usually a clear or slightly cloudy, non-irritating and odour-free discharge. The consistency and amount of discharge changes during the menstrual cycle.

Some times the discharge may be little and watery

and other times it may be more severe and thicker, all of which can be normal.

An abnormal discharge starts when the discharge irritates or burns your body, or when it has a strong smell.

Should you experience a difference in your discharge it may be time to go see a doctor.

Normal Vaginal Discharge

Glands in the vagina and cervix produce the fluid that flows out of your vagina, taking with it the old lining of cells in the vagina. This helps to keep the vagina clean, as well as to lubricate it and keep it free from infections.

Healthy vaginal discharge does not have a bad smell and usually has no odour at all. It also often appears clear or milky when it dries on clothing. You may occasionally notice white spots or a normal vaginal discharge that is thin and stringy in appearance.

Changes in your vaginal discharge may be du to the following:

* Menstrual cycle;

* Stress;

* Pregnancy;

* Medication;

* Sexual excitement;

* ovulation;

* diet

Abnormal vaginal discharge may be indicated by the following:

* change of colour, consistence or amount of discharge;

* constant increased discharge;

* itching, rashes or discomfort;

* burning during urination;

* blood in the discharge when it is not your menstrual cycle;

* a cottage-cheese consistency;

* foul odour with a yellowish, greenish or grayish white discharge.

Any of these signs may be a reason to consult your doctor.

YEAST INFECTIONS (CANDIDA)

Yeast infections are probably the type of vaginitis most women are familiar with.

They are caused by a species of fungus called Candida. Candida is normally found in small numbers in the vagina, mouth and digestive tract.

Yeast infections produce a thick, white discharge with the consistency of cottage cheese (please note that not all women experience this discharge during Candida). Yeast infections can also cause the vagina and surrounding areas to by red and itchy.

Yeast infections are not considered a sexually transmitted disease. The risk of contracting a yeast infection can be increased by the following:

* antibiotics (this can be prevented by taking probiotics while on your antibiotic course);

* Uncontrolled diabetes which causes an excess of sugar in the vagina and urine;

* Pregnancy;

* Birth control pills;

* Immune disorders;

* Corticosteroid therapy.

How can you prevent yeast infections? The following tips are helpful, but of course not full proof:

- wear loose clothes of natural fibres;

- do not wear tight pants;

- don’t douche and try not to use too much feminine deodorant;

- try not to use deodorized tampons or pads;

- don’t stay in wet clothes;

- minimise hot baths;

- eat lots of yogurt (for those good probiotics);

Please go see your doctor or pharmacist should you be experiencing a yeast infection, as medication quickly and painlessly clears it up.

BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS

This is probably the most common type of vaginal infection found in women.

It is caused by a combination of bacteria, which overgrow much in the way Candida can. The reason for this overgrowth is unknown.

Bacterial vaginosis is also not considered as a sexually transmitted disease, but is more common in sexually active women.

The symptoms of BV are the following:

- white or discoloured discharge;

- discharge that smell fishy (often strongly after sex);

- painful urination;

- itching and burning of the vagina.

However, up to 50% of woman with bacterial vaginosis do not display any symptoms.

The most common treatments for BV are metronidazole (Flagyl) and clindamycin (Cleocin).

SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS

Trichomoniasis

Trichomoniasis are caused by tiny single-celled organism that create an infection in the vagina and cause a frothy, greenish-yellow discharge. This discharge will often have a foul odour. It can also cause itching and soreness of the vagina and vulva, with burning during urination. Your partner will also require treatment.

Chlamydia

Women with Chlamydia infection often do not have symptoms which makes diagnosis difficult. Sometimes a vaginal discharge is present, but not in all cases. More often there might be light bleeding (especially after sex) and there might be pain in the abdomen and pelvis. Chlamydial vaginitis is most often found in women between 18 and 35 years of age with multiple sexual partners.

Left untreated Chlamydia causes damage to the reproductive organs and can make falling pregnant very difficult. Your sexual partner/s will also have to be treated.

Herpes simplex

The main symptom of herpes is pain with lesions or sores visible on the vulva or vagina (sometimes deep inside the vagina). There is no cure for Herpes, but it may be dormant indefinitely.

Humanpapilloma virus

This is also referred to as genital warts (which are warts that grow in the vagina, rectum, vulva or groin.

When visible these wars appear white to gray in colour (but can also be pink or purple).

Gonorrhea

Gonorrhea is caused by bacteria and can be treated with an antibiotic, although your partner will also have to be treated. The following can be symptoms of gonorrhea:

• A yellowish discharge from the genitals
• Burning sensations during urination
• Men may begin to have enlarged testicles with pain
• If rectum becomes infected, it may bleed, become very irritated, and sore

Laugh-a-lot... lesbian humour

Q: What do you call a lesbian one-night -stand?

A: lickitysplit.

A Coming Out Joke

A young woman, in the course of her college life, came to terms with her homosexuality and decided to come out of the closet. Her plan was to tell her mother first; so on her next home visit, she went to the kitchen, where her mother was busying herself stirring stew with a wooden spoon. Rather nervously, she explained to her that she had realized she was gay.

Without looking up from her stew, her mother said, "You mean, lesbian?"

"Well... yes."

Still without looking up: "Does that mean you lick women down below?"

Caught off guard, the young woman eventually managed to stammer an embarrassed affirmative; whereupon her mother turned to her and, brandishing the wooden spoon threateningly under her nose, snapped: "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!"

Q. What does a lesbian bring on a second date?

A. A U-haul.

Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?

A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.

Q: What do you get when you have 50 politicians and 50 lesbians all in the same room?
A:100 people who don't do dick.

Q: How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
A: Even the pool table doesn't have balls.

TOO MUCH GAY

An old man walked into a bar and ordered 10 shots of whiskey.
The bartender asked, "What's the matter?"
The old man said, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."

The next day the old same man came in and ordered 12 shots of whiskey.
The bartenders asked, "What's wrong this time?"
The old man said, "I found out that my son is gay."

The next day the same old man came in the bar and ordered 15 shots of whiskey.
Then the bartender asked, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"
The man looked up and said, "Apparently my wife does."

Q: What do you call a lesbian will fat fingers?

A: Well Hung..!!

Q: Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends?

A: Someone has to mow the lawn.

Q: What can two femmes do in bed?

A: Each other's makeup.

There was a young woman from Wheeling

Who claimed to lack sexual feeling

Til a dyke named Delores

Simply touched her clitoris

And she had to be scraped from the ceiling

submitted by Marci, West Sacramento, CA

Q: What does one lesbian vampire say to another lesbian vampire?

A: See ya same time next month.

Top Ten Things Heterosexuals Need to Know About Gay People

10. We didn't invent disco music so stop blaming us.

9. We're not sure about Ricky Martin either.

8. We also didn't invent the color black, but we are in complete agreement that you look better in it.

7. We are secretly glad Anne Heche is back on your team. She scares us.

6. Our so-called "gaydar" does not get us more cable stations or better reception.

5. We think your mini-vans are sooo cute!

4. David Crosby was not Melissa Etheridge's only choice.

3. If he's using two or more hair products at any one time -- yes, he is.

2. If she's won Wimbledon sixteen times, she is too.

And, the number one thing that heterosexuals need to know about gay people is...

1. Relax, we don't want you!

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A.: Lick-a-lot-a-pus.

Q: What kind of humor do lesbians like?

A: Tongue in cheek!

Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?

A: Single!

Q: What do you call an Irish Lesbian?

A: Gaylick.

Female ejaculation – and we’re not taking the piss…

This, to those experienced in this mystical action and those woefully inexperienced, is considered the height of womanly pleasure. And please please please, should this have happened to you, don’t you dare feel embarrassed. There are a lot of us who are dreadfully jealous of you lucky bitches…

Women produce quite large quantities of body fluids during sex, especially in a highly aroused state over an extended period.

The Female Prostate

The female prostate, together with the urethra (the tube which connects the bladder to the outside of the body) and vagina are actually part of a solid structure. Reinier De Graaf was the first person to describe the female prostate in Western medicine in 1672. He described it as a collection of functional glands and ducts surrounding the female urethra. According to him the glands produced pituitoserous juice, which basically means a thick mucous that is pale yellow or transparent.

The female prostate actually lies within the wall, along the length of the urethra. It is actually part of the urethral wall, which in turn is contained within the vaginal wall. It is a relatively small organ about the size of a woman’s thumb.

So what is the purpose of the female prostate?

Little is known about the actual function of the female prostate and the role it plays in our body. It is currently considered to have two main functions. The first is to produce and store prostatic fluids and the second is to release hormones into the blood stream.

What do we ejaculate?

Female ejaculate is a fluid that is expelled through the urethra during sex. When released in smaller quantities it may be a clear, milky or somewhat yellowish mucous-like fluid. As the amount ejaculated increases, the fluid becomes more like clear water. In small quantities it may be concentrated with a distinct musky smell, but in increased amounts there is less to no scent.

Ejaculated fluid is not urine, even though they might share some substances.

Women who ejaculate have reported that the colour, smell and even the taste of the fluid vary from event to event. It is perfectly safe to taste ejaculate (be it your own or that of your partner), but should not be done when practicing safe sex. Some women also report that their menstrual cycle influences the consistency of the fluid ejaculated, as will what you eat and drink. Some women report it is sometimes clear and odourless and other times thick and pungent.

Who ejaculates?

All women produce ejaculate even if they are not aware of it. The fluid may seep out and mix unnoticed with other body fluids rather than being a distinctive gush of liquid during sexual activity. The prostate probably contributes regularly to the moisture present at the vulva.

How Much Liquid Is Ejaculated?

The quantity of the liquid can vary from women to women. While some report a few drops others lay claim to as much as two cups.

What is the G-Spot?

The G-Spot is said to be an area, highly sensitised, within the female prostate or located further back along the urethra.

A woman who is not sexually aroused may not have a prominent or visible G-Spot. When that same woman is highly aroused and her prostate swollen, she might have an extremely distinct G-Spot.

Do not forget clitoral stimulation!

For many women the clitoris may hold the key to female ejaculation. Most women find it hard to become highly aroused without clitoral stimulation. If a woman is not heavily aroused her prostate may not fill with the necessary increased amounts of fluid. If her prostate is not swollen her G-Spot may not be accessible. Therefore, should there not be the necessary clitoral stimulation to arouse the G-Spot, there can be no ejaculation.

How do you stimulate the prostate?

The best tool to use are your fingers. They are firm, flexible and sensitive. Should you however wish to explore, there is no reason why a dildo (especially those specifically created for G-spot stimulation) should not happily be pulled into the play. Knowing your own body is key and it helps to know where your own erogenous zones are in order to guide your partner to the correct spots.

Can you learn to ejaculate?

Of course! Try to empty your bladder first, as you might develop a feeling similar to wanting to go to the bathroom. Ejaculation may in some women not occur without the prostate or urethra being stimulated. If you are self-servicing, it might be necessary to use a dildo to stimulate your urethra. As you massage the clitoris, stimulate your urethra by massaging the top of the vagina by using only light pressure at first. Massage the full length of your urethra, from the opening back into your vagina. Keep up the clitoral massage. Try different pressures and strokes, what works for one person may not be exactly what another needs. You might feel the urge to let your bladder go. Do not fight the urge, go with the flow, literally. Relax and breathe deeply. And enjoy!!