Sex Toys... because girls love to play

So your relationship is wonderful, I know. And your sex life is spectacular, I know. But girls love to play and there are strange and exciting toys out there, prettynized for girls like us....

Pocket sized vibrators are available everywhere and they are perfect to take with you anywhere, because you never know when temptation might hit. Whether they are just small and packable, disguised or tripped out, no girl should be without one. The ChikStik, for example, is hidden as a pretty girlly lipstick and if it accidentally falls out of your bag during a big business meeting, no worries, your boss won't even notice it.
Is penetration not your thing? then maybe you would be more interested in the butterfly vibrator (although butterfly is misleading, as they come in a variety of animals lately). The butterfly vibrator fits over the clitoris and straps to your thighs or hips for a snug fit, almost like a g-string with an inbuilt stimulator. Looking at another long train ride or boring airplane trip? Why not spice it up with a little animal pleasure?



But you are not someone who enjoys lonely pleasure too much? No problem, share with your partner... simultaneously! A dual penetration vibrator with double clitoris stimulation is just the thing for the two of you. And it comes in various colours and could double as an abstract work of art should your mother come to visit unexpectedly.


Don't worry however if you are a hands-free kind of gal. You are not alone and there are a few beautiful lezzies out there who prefers to use their dexterous digits for other things while making sure that no part of their partners are neglected. And there is no reason why we shouldn't be stylish while being orgasmic. Bright pink is just the thing to brighten up your bedroom while making your partner scream...


A few more interesting toys out there? Why not try your very own silicone finger? It is bendable, flexable, penetratable and you can leave it happily on your sideboard without most people realising what your interesting statue is.


On the other hand, for the odd man in your life, there is always the ever popular blow up sheep, if you are lonely and need someone to love ewe....

Gay Bashing / Gay Hate Crime

Gay hate crimes are probably the most terrifying and serious consequence of simply living who you are. It is in no world fair or even defendable that a person may be insulted, seriously hurt or killed simply for loving a person of the same sex or simply for looking like you could. Murdered for living your life without any interference in the attacker’s life. There is no justification for this kind of violence, but it happens.

And living a lesbian (as well as gay or bisexual) lifestyle, it is something that must be considered and guarded against.

Somehow “gay bashing” is considered to be a crime against mainly gay men, but I do not think there is any reason for lesbian women not to protect and educate themselves, as there are plenty reported cases of lesbian bashing.

An examples of a transgender (which could easily have been a homosexual) hate crimes is the horrifying story of Gwen Amber Rose Araujo (February 24, 1985 to October 4, 2002) .

Gwen Araujo was a transgendered teen who was attacked by a group of mean, which eventually led to her tragic death. She was apparently attacked because of the fact that she was a biological male living as a female, which angered her attackers.

Gwen, who was called Lida at the time, met a new group of friends who spent their afternoons and evenings having parties, drinking and using drugs at the home of one of the attackers. She was alleged to have engaged in sexual activity with two of the men from her new group of friends and was subsequently invited to a party. On 3 October 2002 it was somehow discovered that Gwen was biologically male and an “inspection” was forced on her by the party-goers. Shocked and angered at the discovery, Mike Magidson started choking Gwen. Jose Merel and Jaron Nabors were also implicated in the assault and subsequent murder of Gwen Araujo.

Jason Cazares claimed that he left the house during the attack, but could not leave as he had arrived in Mike magidson’s vehicle. Once the party was cleared out the three men attacked Gwen, in which she was hit over the head with a frying pan and then assaulted with a can of tomatoes, which caused her to bleed severly. Jaron Nabors then hit her with a barbell weight. She was kneed in the head by Mike Magidson and hit against the living room wall with a force strong enough to damage the plaster walling. She was thereafter strangled with a rope in the garage. She was thereafter hog-tied, wrapped up in a blanked and buried in a shallow grave. In the post-mortem it was declared that Gwen Araujo died of strangulation linked to the blunt force injuries to her head.

It took the authorities two weeks before discover Gwen Araujo’s body. a horrifically long time for a mother to fear for her child.

Gay bashing in government was quite serious in the late 1940’s and early 1950’s. Many gays were forced out of their employment by boards created by United States President Harry Truman and Dwight Eisenhower.

Examples of gay hate speech that is obviously dangerous and could inspire vicious hate crimes are the following:-

"'Unless we get medically lucky, in three or four years,
one of the options discussed will be the extermination of homosexuals." Dr. Paul Cameron, a "scientist" often quoted by religious right groups (see below),
speaking at the 1985 Conservative Political Action Conference

"Not only is homosexuality a sin, but anyone who supports fags is just as guilty as they are. You are both worthy of death (Romans 1:32)," Phelps quoted by State Press (Arizona State University), March 11, 1998.

It seems that gay hate crimes are not limited to the 21^st century. An anonymous pamphlet dated 1641 reported the story of John Atherton, Bishop of Waterford and Lismore, who was hung for sodomy under a law that he helped to institute. His lover, John Childe, who was also his steward and tithe proctor was also hung (see sketch).

The FBI reported in the United States that 15.6% of hate crimes reported to police in 2004 were based on perceived sexual orientation. 61% of the attacks were against gay men, 14% against lesbians, 2% against heterosexuals and 1% against bisexuals, while attacks against GLBT people at large made up 20%.

"Sexual orientation remains the third-highest recorded bias crime in our country, which underscores that anti-gay hate crimes are a very real problem nationwide," Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign, USA.

Homophobia

Homophobia

Homophobia, a widely and frequently used term. But do we really understand the genuine and serious consequences homophobia can have on those of us who openly and proudly live our lives with a partner, or without.

Homophobia is described as an irrational fear or discrimination against homosexual individuals and/or homosexuality. Generally, it is used to describe people who dislike, hate or are prejudice towards to gay, lesbian or bisexual community (and in many instances all of them).

There is a general debate as to whether transgender phobia should fall within the scope of homophobia, because some people see this as a denial of the unique and very serious prejudice and obstacles transgender men and women face.

However, some individuals (who are opposed to homosexuality) feel that the term homophobia is incorrect. The Concerned Women for America (a conservative lobby group) stated that homophobia is a “deceptive term…. used by pro-gay proponents to confuse the issue and control the debate”, as it infers that any opposition to homosexuality or homosexuals as illogical.

A certain sense of homophobia can also be seen within non-gay or heterosexual young individuals who fear being associated as homosexual. It is generally used as an insult or reduction of a young man’s masculinity. Jokes about one of the individuals being “gay” is thrown about and can lead to an exaggerated need to prove “manliness” or masculinity to the rest of the group.

Public homophobia

In South Africa, during the High Court trial arguing the right for same sex partners to have a legal marriage there was a hot and lively debate under the “conservative” factions (including religious and political associations) regarding the “unnaturalness” and “sinfulness” of homosexuality.

The following statement was made publicly just after the High Court ruled that the Marriage Act was discriminatory for referring to male and female specifically (and not to a spouse) the following statement was made Doctors for Life's John Smyth:

“Same sex marriages lacked the same values as heterosexual marriages because they were physically and emotionally unnatural and had no innate ability to procreate.”

"Will all sexual practices be acceptable as long as it is between consenting persons? One example is whether consensual necrophilia (sex with a corpse) will be acceptable? What about incest, bestiality, masochism and even hypoxyphilia? The right to sexual orientation is not absolute and under certain conditions the government has the right to overrule the rights of individuals."

An ignorant and small minded statement to make, perhaps. But also a statement that is dangerous in its ability to incite violence and hatred towards the gay, lesbian and bisexual community.

TRIBADISM, PLURALISED PLEASURE OR POPPYCOCK?

Tribadism, a concept I had never heard of before, until recently. But what exactly is Tribadism and how does this “outercourse” work?

Simply speaking, it is dry humping or dry fucking. More intricately speaking it is a woman rubbing her vulva or clitoris against her partners vulva, clitoris, thigh, leg, arm, stomach or other available surface.

It can also refer to simultaneous rubbing of clitoris against clitoris or vulva against vulva. Think it is a kind of mutual masturbation. A position 99 of sorts.

"Tribadism" is defined either as: 1. A plural for lesbian, lesbianism 2. "A homosexual practice among women which attempts to simulate heterosexual intercourse."

(quoted from www.wikipedia.org)

I personally do not agree with the second description, because being a lesbian is the antitheses of heterosexual and nowhere do we attempt to simulate heterosexual intercourse. What is pleasurable on a woman is not pleasurable because men do it, but simply because our bodies are designed that way. It is ironic that men try and take the glory for everything a woman can do better.

Under terms used to refer to tribadism are frottage, clitting, scissoring, clit-clatting, dry humping, dry fucking, touching tacos and clam jousting (half of them sounding as if they were invented by a drunken Victorian prude).

If it is good enough for humans, it is apparently good enough for apes as well. The bonobo species are apparently well known for the females of the species interacting socially through tribadism or GG rubbing (genito genital rubbing). Bonobo’s are also well know for mastrubating, which must tell you something about the evolution of the homo sapien species…




Tribadism seems to be highly regarded for its ability to lead to multiple orgasms, as it does not over-stimulate the clitoris and it is hugely raved about on various forums on the internet.

Personally me and my partner have not tried it yet, but after having researched its various and highly regarded aspects on the net, it seems that it is definitely next on our “to do list”. Any sentence combining the words multiple and orgasm cannot be a bad thing…

Curiosity: The Scissor Sisters obviously know that a sister wants to scissor… hehehe…

Coming Out...

Coming out. It makes it sound so simple, even easy. As if you just walk out of the closet. Easily opening the door and stepping out of the dark confines of the said closet into the light outer world.

But it is not. It is more like a rebirth. Having to tear your way into being “allowed” to live your life honestly. And like birth, it is easier for some than for others. Although the fact that your family or friends might accept you, does not mean that the rest of the world is eagerly standing in line to make you feel like a “normal” individual.

I met my partner at the office. We both claim that it was love at first sight (which I am still sure of today). It was definitely the strongest, most amazing feeling that I have ever had. We moved in together two years later.

Now all of this is an easy and wonderful experience for heterosexual couples. You fall in love and tell the whole world about it. Your colleagues know, your family knows. You plan your engagement, your wedding, your wonderful house. And it seems that the whole world plans with you.

In a homosexual relationship it is not the same. You don’t tell your work colleagues about your wonderful partner, because it takes one homophobic idiot to make the rest of your work experience horrible. You can’t tell your family, because you first have to explain to them why this wonderful person you are going to share your life with is also a girl. You have to get through the “Mommy I am gay” talk first before you can proceed with planning your life. It seems that you have to think of everybody else first before the two of you can proceed with enjoying your own life.

My partner, Sonia, was the first to pop out. We were driving home from work one afternoon and she said: “I need to tell my mom.” If I said that I wasn’t immediately stressed, I would be lying. I told her as much as well, but she assured me that her mother was wonderfully open-minded. She even had gay friends and was always supportive of gay rights. There would be no problem.

How wrong we were. It was a horrible experience. Her mother completely freaked out. Threw every insult and threat at us. Even told her that she would rather have her be a whore than a homosexual. Ranted that she could no longer look Jesus in the eye. Threatened to cut her own daughter out of her life. Sonia’s reply was simple. Go ahead. I have a life to live and I’m simply not willing to give up a life partner for a familial prejudice. The month we moved in together her mother attempted to commit suicide.

Its two years on and worth every horrible word, every insult and every tear. Now we have dinner at her mother’s house, go out for lunch and can have polite, sometimes even affectionate conversation.

After the issues with Sonia’s mother I felt like I had a rock in my stomach when it came to have “the discussion’ with my parents. While being liberal in many ways, my mother was also dominating and strict through my teenage years. She was prone to overreacting to circumstances and would rarely hesitate to punish me by completely refusing to talk to me until I rectified my error.

I was terrified of telling her that, in addition to the piercings and tattoos that she hated, I now also had a girlfriend in tow. Ever time I tried to have ‘the talk” I would freeze up and end by mumbling some nonsensical sentence that I thought made the entire situation clear. Which it obviously didn’t.

I ended up by sending my dad an e-mail. Cowardly, maybe. But it was all I was capable of after two months of working myself into a complete state. My father replied to me by saying that he would approach the subject with my mother, but he did sometimes wonder why our family always had to push boundaries. My mother responded via instant message within half an hour. The message read: I love you no matter what and am still proud of you. I was absolutely stunned. Taken aback by her absolute acceptance of my lifestyle.

Since then they have gone out of their way to make my partner feel accepted in the family. They are wonderful and love her for the person she is, in addition to being part of the family now.

Sometimes people surprise you. At times happily so. And at times they sadly disappoint you more than you expected…


Please do not hesitate to share coming out stories. Young woman need to realise that they are not alone. That sometimes you expect the worse and better happens. And then, sometimes it is much worse than you expected. But you always get through it. There is always a brighter side where you can continue with your life honestly. Where you do not have to lie about your partner, your lifestyle or your choices.

Heya! I am Sonia, the partner J Coming out to my mother was an ordeal, she shattered the idea I had of her, the open-mindedness I counted on was applicable “to other people’s daughters” and not necessarily to hers, but, as bad as things got, there is nothing that compared to the relief that followed.

The reality is that it does not matter to how many people you come out to, you will throughout life be faced with many others, what changes is your predisposition and the ease with which you will handle any situation you are faced with. And as much as you think at the time that there is no easy solution in sight, keep in mind there are many other people out there faced with tougher choices!

Please note that a different topic will be posted every few weeks, and coming out stories seemed to be the best way to kick start this.