Keeping abreast of things...

Breast cancer is a major concern under women and rightly so. And, as in all things, education is important in order for us to protect ourselves.

INTERESTING BREAST CANCER FACTS

An estimated 182 800 new cases of malignant breast cancer were diagnosed in 2000.

An estimated amount of 42 2000 women died from breast cancer in 2000.

You stand the best chance of survival through early detection of breast cancer by regular monthly breast self-exams and yearly mammograms after the age of 40.

Ninety-six percent of women who find and treat breast cancer early will be cancer-free after five years.

One in eight women will get breast cancer in her lifetime.

A woman dies every 13 minutes of breast cancer

Breast cancer usually shows upon first in a woman’s mammogram, before it can be felt or any other symptoms show.

Risks for breast cancer include a family history, atypical hyperplasia, delaying pregnancy until after age 30 or never becoming pregnant, early menstruation (before age 12), late menopause (after age 55), current use or use in the last ten years of oral contraceptives, and daily consumption of alcohol.

Seventy-seven percent of breast cancer incidents are women over 50.

Breast cancer is the major fatality factor in women’s cancer between the ages of 15 and 54, and the second cuase of cancer deaths in women 55 to 74.

Over eighty percent of lumps are not malignant but benign, such as fibrocystosis.

Oral contraceptives can cause a slight increase in the risk for breast cancer.

You are never too young to develop breast cancer! You should start self-exams by the age of twenty in order to catch possible breast cancer early enough to be treated.

Breast Cancer Myths

1. Myth: Young women do not get breast cancer.
Fact: Yes, the risk for breast cancer increases as you age, but the fact is that women of all ages are at risk to develop breast cancer.

2. Myth: If there is no incident of breast cancer within your family you do not have to worry about breast cancer.
Fact: The fact is that the majority of women diagnosed with breast cancer do not have a familial history of cancer. Your risk is however significantly higher should your mother, sister or grandmother have or have had breast cancer. See: Breast Cancer Risk Assessment Tool

3. Myth: I don’t have a mutated BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene so I’m sure breast cancer is not in my future.
Fact: Don’t fool yourself! Not having a mutated BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene does not mean you won’t get breast cancer. Actually, the truth is that almost all women (90 to 95 percent) diagnosed with breast cancer have neither a family history nor mutated BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene, according to the American Cancer Society.
See: Understanding the BRCA Gene and Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer

4. Myth: Breast cancer is preventable.
Fact: Although a drug classified as an antiestrogen called, Tamoxifen may decrease breast cancer risk in certain women, the cause of breast cancer remains unknown and is not completely preventable. The real key to surviving breast cancer is early detection and treatment.

5. Myth: Having yearly mammograms will expose me to too much radiation and cancer will occur as a result.
Fact: According to the American College of Radiology, the benefits of annual mammograms far outweigh any risks that may occur because of the minute amount of radiation used during this screening and diagnostic procedure.

6. Myth: I’m not going to breastfeed because breastfeeding would increase my risk of getting breast cancer.
Fact: Just the opposite is true. Breastfeeding may actually decrease the risk of perimenopausal breast cancer.


Self examination:

Here's How:

1. Stand in front of a mirror. Look for any changes such as puckering, changes in size or shape, dimpling, or changes in your skin texture.
2. Look for changes to the shape or texture of your nipples. Gently squeeze each nipple and look for discharge.

3. Repeat these steps with your hands on your hips, over your head, and at your side.
4. Raise your right arm and examine your every part of your left breast. Move in increasingly smaller circles, from the outside in, using the pads of your index and middle fingers.

5. Gently press and feel for lumps or thickenings.

6. Using body cream, if neccessary, continue to circle and gently massage the area outside your breast and under your arm.

7. Repeat with your left arm and right breast.

8. Lay down. Put a pillow under your right shoulder, and your right hand behind your head. Again gently massage and feel your breast for lumps or other changes.
9. Repeat with towel under left shoulder with left hand behind head.

Tips:

1. Menstruating women should do breast self-exam a few days after their periods end. Women who use oral contraceptives should do breast self exam on the first day of a new pill pack.

2. Post-menopausal non-menstruating women should pick a day and do breast self exam on the same day each month. Notify your physician immediately if you notice any changes or lumps.

3. Breast self exam should be a routine part of every woman's life. Talk to your daughters about the importance of breast self exam so it will become a routine part of their lives.

LESBIAN STEREOTYPE MYTHS…

Believed by the ignorant and sometimes, sadly, not so ignorant heteros out there. Some of this might sound absolutely ridiculous and some might actually hit close to home (we’ve associated with a few ourselves).

And yes, we know (as such wonderful creatures ourselves) that us lezzies (and women in general) are ultimately the most individual people out there, but these are some of the myths (and to some of us quasi realities) that are believed out there…

Myth #1

Lesbians wear mens flannel shirts (fuck you very much 90’s). There are few among us who did not go through the 90’s in our torn denims and flannel shirts banging happily along with Nirvana, but now it has turned into a general myth that lesbians wear flannel shirts. Big, unshapely, loose flannel shirts. True? Well… sometimes.

Myth #2

Lesbians were construction worker boots, with various variations of combat boots, hiking boots (and I am sure to the ignorant out there, Doc Martins). Each of which me and my partner has. The funky type, although the new lezzie stereotype are Shane-nising in their Converse or Allstars.

Myth #3

All of us have short nails, so as not too tear our poor partners apart during our non-hetero sex like acts. How sad is that for a function, because some of actually do get dressed up for those theatre nights or gala evenings. And some of us are just pure femme, so if you are a lipstick, please skip this paragraph as some poor souls seem to be very mistaken.

Myth #4

Lesbians cut their hair short. I mean really, have any of you seen any straight girls out there with short hair? This is not excluding the mullet-dyke stereotype. Lately the trend seems to edge towards the bed-head or Mohawks.

Myth #5

To our male-dominated society, this has extended to include any independent women who dares to dye her hair multi-coloured, pierce anything visible (or invisible, as the case may be), or dare to put any ink on her porcelain pure skin. I vote for this one, I love my piercings and tattoos and if that is what it means to be lesbian, then brother, stand aside because I am uber-lezzie.

Myth #6

Lesbians wear wifebeaters (otherwise known as sleeveless vests). Again, thank you L-Word and more specifically, thank you Shane. (Is there any bigger modern stereotype?)

Myth #7

Lezzies wear white Calvin Kleins (which I think is actually a bit more of a trend than we give it credit for).

Myth #8

All lesbians hate men (and Lesbians are all feminists). I am sure that our male friends would be surprised about this (but then again, who says we are not keeping them in our circle for some evil purpose to take over the world).

Myth #9

All homosexuals have “gaydar” and for some reason we should be able to ascertain someones sexual orientation from something as little as a description or a photo. This is not true and I can vouch for the fact that my girlfriend’s gaydar is horrible. If she had to travel according to gaydar she would eternally be lost.

Myth #10

All lesbians love K.D. Lang (I would be hard pressed to name a single song, but who am I to argue with a world of wisdom).

Myth #11

Homosexuality is catching. I am sure there is more than one mommy out there who feels her poor little girl should not be near a lesbian, because just in case our contagious disease is airborne.

Myth #12

Lesbians love sport. Looking at me this is an absolute myth, because you couldn’t get me asleep faster. On the other hand, my girlfriend could prove this myth. This is up to personal judgement and I know I’m probably a minority out there.

There are many myths out there, as is blatantly clear, a lot of them utterly nonsensical. Please feel free to add any we might have missed. After all, lesbians are not supposed to be too smart... ha ha

The Black triangle…

The black triangle (now a widely used lesbian pride symbol), was used by the Nazi’s to mark prisoners as “asocial” in the Nazi concentration camps.

In the Nazi concentration camps every prisoner had to wear a badge (known as the concentration badges) on their jackets, the specific colour of the badges catogorising according to “their kind”. People who were deemed “asocial” had to wear black triangles. The majority of black-triangle prisoners were “mentally retarded” or homeless people. But the minority groups of he prisoners also assigned the black triangle were alcoholics, the unemployed, prostitutes and other such undesirables. Gypsies (or Romas) were also classed with black triangle prisoners, but at some camps were given a brown triangle badge instead.

The lesbian community has over time claimed the black triangle as a symbol of defiance against repression and discrimination and is seen as the equivalent of the gay pink triangle.

---

Pink Triangle

The pink triangle was also a Nazi concentration camp badge used for gay men.

Prior to the second World War Paragraph 175, a clause in German law, prohibited homosexual relations (think of the US States who today still have laws against "crimes of nature"). During 1935 when Hitler rose to power he broadened the law to include homosexual kissing, embracing, and even having homosexual fantasies. About 25,000 people were convicted under this law between 1937 and 1939 alone. They were sent to prisons and later concentration camps. Their sentence also included sterilization, most commonly in the form of castration. In 1942, Hitler extended the punishment for homosexuality to death.

Although homosexual prisoners were not shipped en mass to the Aushwitz death camps like so many of the Jewish prisoners, there were still large numbers of gay men executed there along with other non-Jewish prisoners. The real tragedy though occurred after the war. When the Allies defeated the Germany and the Nazi Regime, the political and remaining Jewish prisoners were released from the camps (the regular criminals- murderers, rapists, etc.- were not released for obvious reasons). The homosexual prisoners were never released though because Paragraph 175 remained West German law until 1969. So these innocent men watched as their fellow prisoners were set free, but remained prisoners for 24 more years.

Explain to me... where the term Lesbian came from

The term Lesbian is derived from the beautiful Greek Island of Lesbos (or Lesvos). It was the birth place of the poet Sapho lived in 600 B.C. Sapho was considered a great lyrical poet in her era (and would have been considered an intellectual poet), who was well know for writing romantic poetry to other women.

(To the left is a bust of Sapho)

Sapho was born sometime between 630 BC and 612 BC and thought to have died around 570 BC. The bulk of her poetry, which was well-known and greatly admired throughout antiquity, has been lost (some reports state due to religious fanaticism), but her immense reputation has endured.

Sappho is mainly considered to have been bisexual, as she wrote love poems to both men and women. Her name is also the original of the lesser known term “Sapphic” (which is used to referred to lesbians despite the opinion that she was bisexual rather than strictly homosexual.

Here is an example of Sapho’s poetry, translated by Mary Barnard

I have not had one word from her

Frankly I wish I were dead
When she left, she wept

a great deal; she said to me, "This parting must be
endured, Sappho. I go unwillingly."

I said, "Go, and be happy
but remember (you know
well) whom you leave shackled by love

"If you forget me, think
of our gifts to Aphrodite
and all the loveliness that we shared

"all the violet tiaras,
braided rosebuds, dill and
crocus twined around your young neck

"myrrh poured on your head
and on soft mats girls with
all that they most wished for beside them

"while no voices chanted
choruses without ours,
no woodlot bloomed in spring without song..."

Lesbos is a beautiful Greek island and a popular tourist destination. It is easy to see why.

Interesting fact, Lesbos also contains one of the few known Petrified Forests that exist in the World.

(a photo of the coast of Lesbos)

Heavy Metal..... which piercing makes your boat float?

It is a well known fact that us "lezzies" are free spirited, happy to experiment and easily the most intelligent people in the world. One of the ways I prefer to reflect my rebellion against the normality of life are piercings and tattoos. And there is a huge variety out there. It seems that you can pierce just about anything on your body (or at least attempt to).

I have a tongue piercing and my girlfriend swears it makes a difference when giving oral (apparently in a good way). Having it done was not as painful as I thought it would be (my piercer did it without any local anesthetic), but the after effects were much worse than I expected. Your tongue swells up every morning and when you wake up you can barely move it and it stays swollen until mid-afternoon. But if you are willing to wait it out, it is a wonderful piercing to have. I love mine and I have actually found out that when I remove it I talk with a lisp. Imagine that.



My piercing gone wrong was a hand-web piercing (which I still think is brilliant but Sonia refuses to let me retry).
It is a very difficult piercing to keep hygienic, since you have a habit to touch stuff. Mine was going well until we had to move from our townhouse. The post-move clean out was horrific and that same night my hand swelled to twice its size (I ended up in hospital where they had to cut the ring with pliers to remove it from my hand).

(this is my piercing the day it was done)

You can also pierce your ear just about anywhere. I have pierced my tragus, but there are various other places for your earrings to be paraded. (Warning!! any piercing in cartledge hurts like a bitch and hurts like that very same bitch for a while).

Some more piercings that might tickle your fancy are multiple tongue piercings, anchorings in various body parts (in the below photo on the neck which definitely tickles my fancy) and nipple piercings (which super duper tickles my and my girlfriend's fancies). I decided to leave out the genital piercings, because while this blog is not rated we do not want blogger to kick me off :-)

My woman's new tattoo

I just had to brag. This is my girl's new tattoo which we designed and got done on her birthday. it symbolises our commitment to each other and she was so brave to get it done on her forearm, even though it must have been dead painful...

I put mine on my ankle. It is better than a wedding ring, because now she has a permanent reminder of me (evil grin)

Sex Toys... because girls love to play

So your relationship is wonderful, I know. And your sex life is spectacular, I know. But girls love to play and there are strange and exciting toys out there, prettynized for girls like us....

Pocket sized vibrators are available everywhere and they are perfect to take with you anywhere, because you never know when temptation might hit. Whether they are just small and packable, disguised or tripped out, no girl should be without one. The ChikStik, for example, is hidden as a pretty girlly lipstick and if it accidentally falls out of your bag during a big business meeting, no worries, your boss won't even notice it.
Is penetration not your thing? then maybe you would be more interested in the butterfly vibrator (although butterfly is misleading, as they come in a variety of animals lately). The butterfly vibrator fits over the clitoris and straps to your thighs or hips for a snug fit, almost like a g-string with an inbuilt stimulator. Looking at another long train ride or boring airplane trip? Why not spice it up with a little animal pleasure?



But you are not someone who enjoys lonely pleasure too much? No problem, share with your partner... simultaneously! A dual penetration vibrator with double clitoris stimulation is just the thing for the two of you. And it comes in various colours and could double as an abstract work of art should your mother come to visit unexpectedly.


Don't worry however if you are a hands-free kind of gal. You are not alone and there are a few beautiful lezzies out there who prefers to use their dexterous digits for other things while making sure that no part of their partners are neglected. And there is no reason why we shouldn't be stylish while being orgasmic. Bright pink is just the thing to brighten up your bedroom while making your partner scream...


A few more interesting toys out there? Why not try your very own silicone finger? It is bendable, flexable, penetratable and you can leave it happily on your sideboard without most people realising what your interesting statue is.


On the other hand, for the odd man in your life, there is always the ever popular blow up sheep, if you are lonely and need someone to love ewe....

Gay Bashing / Gay Hate Crime

Gay hate crimes are probably the most terrifying and serious consequence of simply living who you are. It is in no world fair or even defendable that a person may be insulted, seriously hurt or killed simply for loving a person of the same sex or simply for looking like you could. Murdered for living your life without any interference in the attacker’s life. There is no justification for this kind of violence, but it happens.

And living a lesbian (as well as gay or bisexual) lifestyle, it is something that must be considered and guarded against.

Somehow “gay bashing” is considered to be a crime against mainly gay men, but I do not think there is any reason for lesbian women not to protect and educate themselves, as there are plenty reported cases of lesbian bashing.

An examples of a transgender (which could easily have been a homosexual) hate crimes is the horrifying story of Gwen Amber Rose Araujo (February 24, 1985 to October 4, 2002) .

Gwen Araujo was a transgendered teen who was attacked by a group of mean, which eventually led to her tragic death. She was apparently attacked because of the fact that she was a biological male living as a female, which angered her attackers.

Gwen, who was called Lida at the time, met a new group of friends who spent their afternoons and evenings having parties, drinking and using drugs at the home of one of the attackers. She was alleged to have engaged in sexual activity with two of the men from her new group of friends and was subsequently invited to a party. On 3 October 2002 it was somehow discovered that Gwen was biologically male and an “inspection” was forced on her by the party-goers. Shocked and angered at the discovery, Mike Magidson started choking Gwen. Jose Merel and Jaron Nabors were also implicated in the assault and subsequent murder of Gwen Araujo.

Jason Cazares claimed that he left the house during the attack, but could not leave as he had arrived in Mike magidson’s vehicle. Once the party was cleared out the three men attacked Gwen, in which she was hit over the head with a frying pan and then assaulted with a can of tomatoes, which caused her to bleed severly. Jaron Nabors then hit her with a barbell weight. She was kneed in the head by Mike Magidson and hit against the living room wall with a force strong enough to damage the plaster walling. She was thereafter strangled with a rope in the garage. She was thereafter hog-tied, wrapped up in a blanked and buried in a shallow grave. In the post-mortem it was declared that Gwen Araujo died of strangulation linked to the blunt force injuries to her head.

It took the authorities two weeks before discover Gwen Araujo’s body. a horrifically long time for a mother to fear for her child.

Gay bashing in government was quite serious in the late 1940’s and early 1950’s. Many gays were forced out of their employment by boards created by United States President Harry Truman and Dwight Eisenhower.

Examples of gay hate speech that is obviously dangerous and could inspire vicious hate crimes are the following:-

"'Unless we get medically lucky, in three or four years,
one of the options discussed will be the extermination of homosexuals." Dr. Paul Cameron, a "scientist" often quoted by religious right groups (see below),
speaking at the 1985 Conservative Political Action Conference

"Not only is homosexuality a sin, but anyone who supports fags is just as guilty as they are. You are both worthy of death (Romans 1:32)," Phelps quoted by State Press (Arizona State University), March 11, 1998.

It seems that gay hate crimes are not limited to the 21^st century. An anonymous pamphlet dated 1641 reported the story of John Atherton, Bishop of Waterford and Lismore, who was hung for sodomy under a law that he helped to institute. His lover, John Childe, who was also his steward and tithe proctor was also hung (see sketch).

The FBI reported in the United States that 15.6% of hate crimes reported to police in 2004 were based on perceived sexual orientation. 61% of the attacks were against gay men, 14% against lesbians, 2% against heterosexuals and 1% against bisexuals, while attacks against GLBT people at large made up 20%.

"Sexual orientation remains the third-highest recorded bias crime in our country, which underscores that anti-gay hate crimes are a very real problem nationwide," Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign, USA.

Homophobia

Homophobia

Homophobia, a widely and frequently used term. But do we really understand the genuine and serious consequences homophobia can have on those of us who openly and proudly live our lives with a partner, or without.

Homophobia is described as an irrational fear or discrimination against homosexual individuals and/or homosexuality. Generally, it is used to describe people who dislike, hate or are prejudice towards to gay, lesbian or bisexual community (and in many instances all of them).

There is a general debate as to whether transgender phobia should fall within the scope of homophobia, because some people see this as a denial of the unique and very serious prejudice and obstacles transgender men and women face.

However, some individuals (who are opposed to homosexuality) feel that the term homophobia is incorrect. The Concerned Women for America (a conservative lobby group) stated that homophobia is a “deceptive term…. used by pro-gay proponents to confuse the issue and control the debate”, as it infers that any opposition to homosexuality or homosexuals as illogical.

A certain sense of homophobia can also be seen within non-gay or heterosexual young individuals who fear being associated as homosexual. It is generally used as an insult or reduction of a young man’s masculinity. Jokes about one of the individuals being “gay” is thrown about and can lead to an exaggerated need to prove “manliness” or masculinity to the rest of the group.

Public homophobia

In South Africa, during the High Court trial arguing the right for same sex partners to have a legal marriage there was a hot and lively debate under the “conservative” factions (including religious and political associations) regarding the “unnaturalness” and “sinfulness” of homosexuality.

The following statement was made publicly just after the High Court ruled that the Marriage Act was discriminatory for referring to male and female specifically (and not to a spouse) the following statement was made Doctors for Life's John Smyth:

“Same sex marriages lacked the same values as heterosexual marriages because they were physically and emotionally unnatural and had no innate ability to procreate.”

"Will all sexual practices be acceptable as long as it is between consenting persons? One example is whether consensual necrophilia (sex with a corpse) will be acceptable? What about incest, bestiality, masochism and even hypoxyphilia? The right to sexual orientation is not absolute and under certain conditions the government has the right to overrule the rights of individuals."

An ignorant and small minded statement to make, perhaps. But also a statement that is dangerous in its ability to incite violence and hatred towards the gay, lesbian and bisexual community.

TRIBADISM, PLURALISED PLEASURE OR POPPYCOCK?

Tribadism, a concept I had never heard of before, until recently. But what exactly is Tribadism and how does this “outercourse” work?

Simply speaking, it is dry humping or dry fucking. More intricately speaking it is a woman rubbing her vulva or clitoris against her partners vulva, clitoris, thigh, leg, arm, stomach or other available surface.

It can also refer to simultaneous rubbing of clitoris against clitoris or vulva against vulva. Think it is a kind of mutual masturbation. A position 99 of sorts.

"Tribadism" is defined either as: 1. A plural for lesbian, lesbianism 2. "A homosexual practice among women which attempts to simulate heterosexual intercourse."

(quoted from www.wikipedia.org)

I personally do not agree with the second description, because being a lesbian is the antitheses of heterosexual and nowhere do we attempt to simulate heterosexual intercourse. What is pleasurable on a woman is not pleasurable because men do it, but simply because our bodies are designed that way. It is ironic that men try and take the glory for everything a woman can do better.

Under terms used to refer to tribadism are frottage, clitting, scissoring, clit-clatting, dry humping, dry fucking, touching tacos and clam jousting (half of them sounding as if they were invented by a drunken Victorian prude).

If it is good enough for humans, it is apparently good enough for apes as well. The bonobo species are apparently well known for the females of the species interacting socially through tribadism or GG rubbing (genito genital rubbing). Bonobo’s are also well know for mastrubating, which must tell you something about the evolution of the homo sapien species…




Tribadism seems to be highly regarded for its ability to lead to multiple orgasms, as it does not over-stimulate the clitoris and it is hugely raved about on various forums on the internet.

Personally me and my partner have not tried it yet, but after having researched its various and highly regarded aspects on the net, it seems that it is definitely next on our “to do list”. Any sentence combining the words multiple and orgasm cannot be a bad thing…

Curiosity: The Scissor Sisters obviously know that a sister wants to scissor… hehehe…

Coming Out...

Coming out. It makes it sound so simple, even easy. As if you just walk out of the closet. Easily opening the door and stepping out of the dark confines of the said closet into the light outer world.

But it is not. It is more like a rebirth. Having to tear your way into being “allowed” to live your life honestly. And like birth, it is easier for some than for others. Although the fact that your family or friends might accept you, does not mean that the rest of the world is eagerly standing in line to make you feel like a “normal” individual.

I met my partner at the office. We both claim that it was love at first sight (which I am still sure of today). It was definitely the strongest, most amazing feeling that I have ever had. We moved in together two years later.

Now all of this is an easy and wonderful experience for heterosexual couples. You fall in love and tell the whole world about it. Your colleagues know, your family knows. You plan your engagement, your wedding, your wonderful house. And it seems that the whole world plans with you.

In a homosexual relationship it is not the same. You don’t tell your work colleagues about your wonderful partner, because it takes one homophobic idiot to make the rest of your work experience horrible. You can’t tell your family, because you first have to explain to them why this wonderful person you are going to share your life with is also a girl. You have to get through the “Mommy I am gay” talk first before you can proceed with planning your life. It seems that you have to think of everybody else first before the two of you can proceed with enjoying your own life.

My partner, Sonia, was the first to pop out. We were driving home from work one afternoon and she said: “I need to tell my mom.” If I said that I wasn’t immediately stressed, I would be lying. I told her as much as well, but she assured me that her mother was wonderfully open-minded. She even had gay friends and was always supportive of gay rights. There would be no problem.

How wrong we were. It was a horrible experience. Her mother completely freaked out. Threw every insult and threat at us. Even told her that she would rather have her be a whore than a homosexual. Ranted that she could no longer look Jesus in the eye. Threatened to cut her own daughter out of her life. Sonia’s reply was simple. Go ahead. I have a life to live and I’m simply not willing to give up a life partner for a familial prejudice. The month we moved in together her mother attempted to commit suicide.

Its two years on and worth every horrible word, every insult and every tear. Now we have dinner at her mother’s house, go out for lunch and can have polite, sometimes even affectionate conversation.

After the issues with Sonia’s mother I felt like I had a rock in my stomach when it came to have “the discussion’ with my parents. While being liberal in many ways, my mother was also dominating and strict through my teenage years. She was prone to overreacting to circumstances and would rarely hesitate to punish me by completely refusing to talk to me until I rectified my error.

I was terrified of telling her that, in addition to the piercings and tattoos that she hated, I now also had a girlfriend in tow. Ever time I tried to have ‘the talk” I would freeze up and end by mumbling some nonsensical sentence that I thought made the entire situation clear. Which it obviously didn’t.

I ended up by sending my dad an e-mail. Cowardly, maybe. But it was all I was capable of after two months of working myself into a complete state. My father replied to me by saying that he would approach the subject with my mother, but he did sometimes wonder why our family always had to push boundaries. My mother responded via instant message within half an hour. The message read: I love you no matter what and am still proud of you. I was absolutely stunned. Taken aback by her absolute acceptance of my lifestyle.

Since then they have gone out of their way to make my partner feel accepted in the family. They are wonderful and love her for the person she is, in addition to being part of the family now.

Sometimes people surprise you. At times happily so. And at times they sadly disappoint you more than you expected…


Please do not hesitate to share coming out stories. Young woman need to realise that they are not alone. That sometimes you expect the worse and better happens. And then, sometimes it is much worse than you expected. But you always get through it. There is always a brighter side where you can continue with your life honestly. Where you do not have to lie about your partner, your lifestyle or your choices.

Heya! I am Sonia, the partner J Coming out to my mother was an ordeal, she shattered the idea I had of her, the open-mindedness I counted on was applicable “to other people’s daughters” and not necessarily to hers, but, as bad as things got, there is nothing that compared to the relief that followed.

The reality is that it does not matter to how many people you come out to, you will throughout life be faced with many others, what changes is your predisposition and the ease with which you will handle any situation you are faced with. And as much as you think at the time that there is no easy solution in sight, keep in mind there are many other people out there faced with tougher choices!

Please note that a different topic will be posted every few weeks, and coming out stories seemed to be the best way to kick start this.